Main -> Dating -> Being single in your mid-to-late 30s – positive stories? - relationships dating . Ask MetaFilter

Being single in your mid-to-late 30s – positive stories? - relationships dating . Ask MetaFilter

Dating: 20s Vs. 30s

When the show debuted in , I was just Now, when I watch it as a single woman in her 30s, it hits a little closer to home. I identify with the characters and their struggles so much more than I did before. Because dating in your 30s is very different than dating in your 20s. The playing field is narrower and you probably carry a little more baggage. You also likely have fewer single friends, so there's more pressure to couple up. If you recently became single or just turned 31 and are beginning to notice how dating has changed, you came to the right place.

I met my husband when I was 43 and he was First and only marriage for me. We met through work and became friends and then something more. We never actually dated.

We would have both laughed if you'd told us we'd be married one day. I feel like getting to know him slowly over time gave me a chance to appreciate his best qualities in a way I might not have if we'd been dating. If I'd been sizing him up as a potential partner it would have never happened.

He's not who I would have predicted I'd end up with. But he gets me, loves me and makes my life better. I love him back and feel very blessed. I think I recommend not exactly dating so much as living your life, doing the things that you love, and being open to what the universe may have to offer you.

Ended a 6 year relationship engaged at age 37 or My cousin met her now-husband at age Ive been a serial monogamist since I was 18, and after each breakup — ages 28, 31,Ive been convinced I am too old to ever have a relationship again. Re: children, Ive never wanted biological kids but I can tell you that half the mothers i know are having first or second kids in their early 40s posted by mrmurbles at PM on May 11, [ 1 favorite ].

Back in the day, I had moved as a divorced woman to a new city for career reasons. Other than my parents an hour drive away, I knew no one.

Dating in your 30s just feels different—here’s how to find what you’re looking for

I was comfortable being an almost forty-year-old single and was managing finances based on the expectation that I would always be single. To meet people - anyone!

In fact, we celebrated the nine-month anniversary of our first face-to-face date on our honeymoon. We are still happily married, best friends, and thrilled with how our lives turned out. Is that enough of a happy ending for you? FWIW, we agree that what was important to finding the "right" relationship was, ironically, not really looking for a relationship.

We were both able to feel fulfilled as single people, and therefore the only relationship that would appeal was one that expanded what we already had as individuals, as there were no personal holes we were looking to fill. This doesn't mean that either of us were perfect when we met, although I am now and he isn't snort! I met my now-wife when I was 31, she was We met through a Meetup happy hour group I joined after moving to a new city to meet people we joke that we pretty much met in a bar.

Married two years later - it's been five years and still happily married. On kids - we don't have any by choice but I know several women who had their first one after FWIW echoing the last comment that I seemed to finally have luck when I wasn't really looking to date. I had a very long multi-year streak of singledom before we met, interspersed with the occasional failed attempt at online dating. I had finally decided to take a break from it and focus on other aspects of my life shortly before I met my now wife.

Got kicked out by my ex at uh Married an internet friend the next year. Still together at Awesome people are out there. Usually you have to at least meet them half way: go do stuff. I drove around the continent when my previous relationship ended, visiting friends. I had just turned 39 and my now wife had just turned 30 before our first date, 14 years ago.

We traded profile views for a bit, then I sent him a message. We chatted for about a week via the OKCupid board, then moved to Facebook, then texting and finally talking on the phone. We met in person for the first time two weeks after we started chatting, and he came to my place for the weekend.

Three months later he moved in with me. We got married as soon as gay marriage was legalized. We have no children, but we have his dog, and we're probably going to get a puppy and, possibly, a kitten don't tell him that because I've been insisting I do not want a cat; but he wants one and I love him and what the hell. It's not like I'm allergic, so I can't even use that as an excuse.

We're five years together, three years married, and sometimes, like right this very moment, I tear up when I look at him and marvel at how much I love him. I married at 26, and split up with my ex-husband at My thirties were one bad date after another. I stopped counting after the th bad date I'd met online.

We wanted to find out how women navigate the dating world in their 30s, how they handle outside pressure, and what's different than dating in.

My bad date stories are ones I'll dine out on for the rest of my life, but it took a few years of emotional distance before I could laugh about them. I was Spent the next few months weeping, and the next few years actively avoiding online dating and working out like it was a second job.

I still am not thin, but I win medals in powerlifting, so there's that. I hit a point once I turned 40, where I felt like I'd managed to contract some horrible disease, or maybe a secret invisible mark over my forehead that branded me as undesirable.

I started to seriously consider how on earth my life was ever going to be fulfilling if I never found a partner, because that's definitely how it was looking.

Unless I wanted to settle for a guy with a fat fetish, and eww. And then… I found I just didn't give a fuck anymore.

Dating mid 30s

So what if all of the straight men I knew thought I was unfuckable because I wore a size 16? That's why god, in her infinite wisdom, invented sex toys — so I didn't have to settle for people who didn't really want me, just to get laid.

I started having drinks with a coworker I'd known for years, and thought was smoking hot, but he was married, and I am polyamorous, so I figured he wouldn't be interested. I was happy just being friends with him. We enjoyed drinks and venting about work.

It was about six months, before he felt comfortable enough to tell me that he and his wife had an open relationship. But since that line gets used a lot by shady dudes, and I have been burned by it before, I was like, 'Yeah, right; and would your wife say the same? We've been partners for three years, now. I just turned 45 a couple of days ago. It is so very hard to hold out for someone who loves YOU, just as you are.

Being single in your 30s can be challenging, but it's also one of the best times in your life to date. Here's how to make the most of dating in your 30s. So what makes dating after 30 different from dating in your 20s? happen in your late 20s and people begin to marry and have children in their 30s," she said. Getting clear on your own needs is the key to finding the right person when you're dating in your 30s. Here's how to do it.

I feel you. I have been there.

And it gets harder to meet new people as you get older, for sure. Yet… you also hit a point where you throw up your hands and something inside you says, 'Fuck this, if you don't like me, you can go fuck all the way off. It's a mystery in the oldest sense of the word — describing it does not convey the knowledge; it's something you have to go through yourself, and it can't be faked.

But you'll hit that point, I am confident. A side note: people who have been in relationships continually since they were in their early 20s can be maddeningly, teeth-gnashingly smug. There is this unspoken belief that if you just work on yourself hard enough, you'll find someone, and the corollary is that if someone has found a partner and is in a relationship, they must have all their emotional shit sorted out, and thus are superior to single people.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Many of those people 1 are in zombie relationships, or are just waiting until the kids turn 18 to leave, or are emotionally stunted, because they've never had to do the hard work you're doing right now. I was a fan of, 'I don't know; why do you think you settled? Take heart, and godspeed. An awful damn lot, though. My favorite late love examples are at age 51 and 67 these days, but I also really loved this post.

Once you're married with babies if it happensyour time is going to be dedicated to them and your next AskMe will probably be about how to wheedle the hubby into doing the dishes while you bathe your kid.

If there's anything in your life beyond "I wanna husband and baby," focus on that, do that. As for me, I'm definitely hopeless and permanently single, but I'm fine with it. I spend most nights out of the house doing cool things like teaching, or my volunteer job, or going to classes or shows or festivals.

Dating A Woman In Her 30's: What You Need To Know!

I got projects out the wazoo. I'm very occupied and outside of work have a very good time.

I couldn't go have all of those types of fun if someone was at home whining for me to cook him dinner. And hey, if you actually meet someone doing what you like doing naturally I haven't but hey, it couldall the better. I have four family members who found love in their 50s. They give me hope. I met my husband online when I was 37 and he was He asked me to marry him on my 40th birthday. We talked about having children but decided against it which was the right choice for us.

We are very happy. My best friend spent most of her thirties kissing some seriously amphibious men, and then met a wonderful guy on a dating site when she was 37 and he was They're married now.

No kids no desire for kids but they do have two dogs and a lot of laughter. It is such a relief to see them together - she is relaxed with him in a way she wasn't with beaux past. I've also been to several other over weddings in the last couple summers: two perpetually single friends, a cousin, a Brady-Bunch-style second marriage that wedding was a blast. One couple met through work, one met through mutual friends maybe at someone else's wedding??

Here are two previous posts that ask similar questions and will give you some more stories: onetwo posted by 2 cats in the yard at AM on May 12, [ 4 favorites ]. Thank you, everyone, for these stories and the links to others. They have been massively cheering, proving yet again that anecdata from kind strangers on the internet can give you life-affirming hope.

Not in the mood to mess around with dead-end dates? And she recommends focusing on the inner traits. Yes, obviously you want to be attracted to the person, but at the end of the day, what really matters are those inner attributes and core values. Once you get clarity around your desires, which may require some self-reflection and sitting down with pen and paper, then start focusing on them. Because then all you will attract are more partners who lie.

To avoid wasting your time and getting emotionally attached to someone who will never be The One, Spira recommends sharing your intentions right from the beginning. Virginia totally agrees with being clear about your intentions, but she suggests having that conversation on the first date instead. You never know where it may lead you. Couples are able to have children later in life or adopt and be fulfilled. Wait three days to call.

There are some major differences between dating in your 20s and dating in your 30s. These expert tips will help you navigate the new scene. A new series that explores what it's really like to be single in your 30s and NGAF. Having done your time kissing frogs, you've got your eyes set on a prince charming than a party kingpin. EliteSingles breaks down what you want to know about.

Hold smooches until after the first date. Throw all those out the window. We lost touch with our IRL social skills. So working on leveling up your body language and conversation skills just be the missing piece that will help you attract your soulmate if you believe in that sort of thing.

This really is just that – a request for positive, hopeful anecdata re. being single and then finding love when you're over I'm usually at peace. Well, according to relationship experts, dating in your 30s (and beyond) presents some very real benefits. "I find that people have more clarity. Find out what no one really tells you about what it's like to date someone while you're in your 30s.

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