5 rules to dating a married manA tale of marital survival. For months, I was in crisis, splintering from a heart that shattered in slow motion. I barely functioned as a mother and citizen or, most important, wife. So I turned to the only person I knew who loved me enough to give a damn and was man enough to forgive me: my husband. I was in my 40s, enduring a daily, robotic cycle of carpooling and cupcakes. I had lived for five years in the professional and literal wilderness, having left New York City and my career as a television producer for rural life with my artist husband. During that time, I wrote a novel about marriage and the sacrifices we make when we decide to commit to one other person in this one life.
We also seriously like other people. I ended my affair, and for the next six months or so, my husband and I recommitted to our marriage and our family. And once we settled into a comfortable rhythm of life with a baby, we both began relaxing into our old routines. He came home late. I flirted with men when I went out with my single girlfriends. And little by little, we reached the point we're at now, where both of us occasionally have affairs on the side but always come home to each other.
Normally, the guys I have affairs with are men I meet through my job — I travel a lot — as an event coordinator, at parties, through friends of friends, or even old flames I've reconnected with on Facebook. I've always been the type of person who gets physical fast, and being married hasn't changed that. I don't keep my marriage a secret from the guys I date — I don't take off my rings and I mention my husband and kids in front of them — but I also don't make it an issue.
Often, they're cheating as welland I feel there's an unspoken code about what we do and don't discuss. I do wonder how long we can keep this up. I don't want to actively seek out affairs.
I feel like my work, thanks to all those business trips, has made it easy to fall into them without doing much damage to my everyday life. I haven't said "I love you" to anyone else since I met my husband, and I do sometimes wonder how my husband feels toward the women he meets. I know — and hope he knows — that very few women would put up with a similar type of relationship, and I think that understanding is part of the bedrock of our bond. When I say I'm going out, he tells me to have a good time.
He'll send texts, but I'm not obligated to respond. I text him if I won't be coming home which, truthfully, happens very rarely since we've had kidsand I always have safe sex. Sometimes, I truly am just going out for a glass of wine with a girlfriend, but I like the intrigue that I could be meeting a man. I'm pretty sure when he goes out, it's to meet a woman — or women. I think I can tell when he is in a serious "relationship" — he'll wear the same cologne and leave with a book tucked under his arm to give her — versus when he may be casually meeting someone for sex.
He also travels a lot for work, and I don't know what he does while he's gone. It's harder when I think something is going on while we're both in town.
The more I think about it, the less okay I am with our lifestyle, so I've become pretty good at shutting down that part of my brain. Because truth be told, I do worry that Dave might fall in love with someone else. That's why when I see his secret smiles or notice him spending tons of time texting, I step it up on my end, asking him to be home on a certain night and initiating sex. I remind him how much I love him and how much our marriage means to me. I won't talk to him about it directly, though, because while it's terrifying to imagine my husband leaving me, I know it's possible.
But that's true in any relationship, and I don't think the fact that my husband can sleep with other women makes him any more likely to fall in love with one of them.
I believe that if you love something, you let it go, and if it's yours, it'll come back to you. Of course, that's easier said than done, but it's something I try to remind myself. And so far, he's come back every time.
And for that matter, so have I. I've had three relationships since Dave and I got married. Even though I was very fond of each of those men, I didn't want to be married to them. The affairs aren't my real life. They're fancy cocktails and tiny plates and falling asleep without the whooshing sound of a baby monitor. And they make me that much happier for the family I do have. I've often thought about what would happen if Dave and I were to be more transparent, but I don't think it would work.
We live in a society where monogamy is everythingand it's hard to explain that you can love having sex with multiple people but still only love one person. We both know this, but if we tried to put our behavior into words, I'm afraid we'd say things we'd regret. The closest we came was when I got an abnormal Pap smear result. The retest came back normal, but it did give me pause and make me wonder how safe what we were doing was, physically and emotionally.
Dave and I had a serious talk about safety, but spoke mostly in the abstract — about things that might have happened in the past — and came down to the rule that we will always have safe sex with other people. I'm not sure what will happen as our sons get older — or, for that matter, what will happen as we get older.
For now, our personal decisions don't affect our sons' lives, but if that changes— if the kids start asking questions, or if one of us starts missing major milestones because we're spending too much time out of the house—then Dave and I may need to lay everything on the table and reconfigure the dynamics of our relationship. We also may find that playing with fire isn't as much fun. Already, I find my priorities have shifted so much in the past decade — most of the time, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than home on the floor, playing with my son and husband.
But that's most of the time. Once every few weeks, there's something magical about being out with a man who's not my husband. Just call it the secret spark that keeps my marriage alive. Follow Redbook on Facebook. Type keyword s to search. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. The catch 22 here is, it is my husband friend as well.
We have been seeing each other for 4 years and during that time he has gotten married and had a child. Even with his union, we still have not stopped seeing each other. He tells me he is in love with me. Not sure if I believe him. As for me all I do is think about him. I think he is the first person I have ever been in love with. I have tried to end it so many times and find myself right back with him days later.
I cry so much over this.
A lot of divorced men are filling up the columns of dating apps and But, at the same time, dating another man while you are still married is. As a man, you should not be ashamed of dating a married woman. . Lay the groundwork, but let her be the one to initiate: Another important. That is, “free and open to date other people, and connect organically.” According to Seku the best approach is when authenticity is key.
Cry over hurting so many people if we ever get caught. Cry over loving him, when all I want is to fall in love with my husband. Three years ago, I caught him texting an ex of his — they texted literally 24 hours a day, for 30 days before I caught him. I stayed with him and I have never held it over his head.
At the time, I had become detached from our marriage and was just going through the motions, so I completely understood how he got to the point of reaching out to someone else. It never went beyond kissing, but I fell for him so fast. We still email and check on one another, provide advice, etc.
I feel stuck. I ended the marriage. I met my now spouse a few months after we separated i felt it was what i needed at the time now being married to her i feel i made a huge mistake and she does not make me feel the way my former spouse made me feel.
My former spouse is not remarried, although she has expressed that she wish things could have been different and would have worked through the prior marriage. Or just end the marriage and be honest with her although i would like a chance with my former spouse i would spend time alone thinking about my life and how quickly things spun out of control.
Have been for two years and now have a child together. I lost my virginity to him and feel like I owe my life to him. As we became friends, I fell more in love with him. My husband is a good man, but he has a dark past that is starting to shine through finally. His persona is becoming more violent and inpatient, especially towards our daughter.
And when the other guy is around, he spoils my daughter and plays with her!! She loves him!! With never feeling like I was in love but doing what I should do, put up with a lot of crap from my husband- cussing me, lying, n cheating, flirting. Please help!! Married for 10 years, mostly unhappy. We have a 7 year old son, and until very recently they barely had a relationship.
I met someone this summer and my feelings for him are growing stronger by the day. I want to leave my husband — not for the new man, but for me. I have been here standing by his side through all of it.
With his friends and his family I am constantly being thanked and being praised for how strong I am to stand by his side for everything. Which brings us to a little while ago when in enters someone from my past. Sweetheart has seen me at my worst and even though we were only friends he always made sure I was ok.
It was clear right from the day we met that we shared some pretty intense feelings for one another. We never got our shot due to one or both of us being in other relationships. Eventually I made the decision that I needed to try and move on from sweetheart and shortly after that is when I met my significant other. And then last week he started paying more attention to me … which fits the normal pattern every time I start to really think about our relationship and if I should just do what I feel is right for me and end things my significant other does a and starts treating me the way I have always longed to be treated.
Especially since he has come back into my life. I love Sweetheart I always have we just have never had the chance to be together. And I know Sweetheart loves me as he has told me a few times since coming back into my life. Which brings us to tonight. Sweetheart proposed to me. I know that hurt Sweetheart and I hated hurting him like that. Any advice is appreciated. I stopped seeing the other woman without explanation. Something was wrong with me and no one could figure out what!
I went to bed and spent the next 18 yrs in bed fighting for my life. My wife has done absolutely nothing wrong! Thoughts of the other woman are eating at me. I went on Facebook and found her. She has 2 adult daughters. The man she was married to, is engaged to another woman.
So I assume she is divorced. I messaged her on Facebook, no reply. Shortly thereafter her page was taken down. I know her home address and phone number.
I want to send her a real letter,on paper and in an envelope. I really want to know about her journey in life thus far, possibly reacquainting ourselves or developing a friendship. Is all of this crazy? What kind of trouble could I get myself into? These feelings to see her are tearing me apart! My husband starting talking to an acquaintance from high school in Feb It has quickly escalated into an emotional affair.
She is jealous of me yet when I try to make them see each other she lives 6 hours away and is married too Unhappily supposedly she told my husband he is her soul mate sends him inspirational messages everyday. My husband says he is in love with her but loves me and never intended to leave.
She says it would tear her heart apart if he left his children. I dont know what to do. She says she is a woman of Jesus on her Facebook. She wont let him go. My husband says he loves me but wont look me in the eye and yes we still have sex. He used to be such a good man. Please I need advice.
First, an affair with an ex, even emotional, is a different animal. Find it, and maybe it can help. We each move through three major phases in life. Good luck. This is the first comment ive seen regarding rekindling with exes. I have a deep sorted history with my ex whom i was engaged to and lived with. We met when i was fifteen and just going through a horrible and traumatic split between my own parents and his divorcing as well a pastors son and infidelity splitting up his family.
We met inv very conservative boarding school. At any rate, we ended up losing our virginity to eachother, getting pregnant at 18, miscarriage, abandonment by my own parents, subsequient abusive relationship of my moms, me being raped by a co worker…we walked through all this together as best friends first and foremost. We new every inch of eachother inside and out anf had the kind of chemistry that doesnt fade. Our chemistry wasnt just physical…it was so emotional. I loved him with every single cell of my being-physical, emotional, spiritual.
However, as we grew, he was a young twenty something who grew up in a staunchly conservative home and desperately wanted to party and drink and have fun all the time he had the life of the party personality-always ready for a good time, jokester. I was a broken girl who also grew up religiously conservative and desperately wanted him to stay home with me because i didnt want to party and we really just matured at different rates.
I had pictures of us all over the place. We were literally addicted to one another. I met my husband who was in his junior year of dental school my ex had yet to complete his associates degree and had no clue what was doing with his life-just surviving.
I was the rebellious wander lust free spirit of my family as compared to my rule following sister in dental hygeine school. My family never liked my ex as he was four years older than me when we first got together…and remember i was only 15…they saw him for what he was…an irresponsible kid. They loved my now husband more than me i think. He admitted to me when dating that he had struggled with porn addiction. But that he was finally free of it.
I periodically would ask him if he was feeling tempted or had fallen to it and he would always say no. When i was just early pregnant with our second child they are three years apart i caught him looking at it.
It was a mess for a minute but he was apologetic and we went to therapy. Things seemed better. I slowly was regaining trust in him. About a year later my four year old son opened the bathroom door and i was right behind him catching my husband in what he claims was live porn chat. I was devastated and so angry. I threatened to leave. He was again so remorseful, this time did counseling by himself. Supposedly finally conquered it. About two years later he confessed to me only because his name was going to be printed in the local paper along with all other customers names that he had visited an asian sauna that got busted for prostitution.
He claims to this day that he went for an actual back massage and thats all he got, even tho the police report said there was no actual massage therapy equipment in the place and that no person was going There for legitimate massage treatments. I have stayed because of two reasons and two only. My babies. They love their daddy very much and our family unit. Also i struggle with feeling that it is a sin as a christian to divorce. Over the years my ex and i have communicated briefly…never seeing one another.
Its always stayed platonic but i always knew it was dangerous territory as we both had unspoken, unresolved feelings. I then cut off all communication out of respect for my husband. For a coulple of years. But ove the years i go through times of missing our connection so deeply it pains me-its something my husband and i have simply never had.
Husband and i are farther apart than ever…essentially just co parents…and i had a dream about my ex the other night. I have had MANY over the years but i was so struck by this one, likely because of my own marital and personal issues i have lost myself entirely in my marriage and parenthood that i didnt want to wake up.
I contacted him and told him about it.
Married and dating another man
Every detail of our past. How hes always loved me, waited for me, our connections, on and on…emotional issues, why we broke up issues, my marital issues, and umtimately sexual talk that ended in very graphic pictures and talk sexting. It awoke in me so much i didnt even realize was still there. I didn think i was even capable of feeling. Now i am more confused than i have ever been in 16 years. I told my husband about some of the conversation…obviously not the worst of it…and the worst part is how calm, understanding and sad and regretful he is for his own part.
I feel so lost. Thank you for reaching out to us. We understand how pornography can have detrimental effects on marriage. Please call us at so we can help you! My husband and I have been married only a little over a year. He was 25 when we got married and I was only a month away from turning We only dated 9 months before getting engaged and waited another 9 months before getting married.
In hind-sight we rushed it. I never really felt a burning passion for my husband and never really expected to. He was and is someone I look up to and ultimately feel comfortable with. The problem is and I have talked andthiught through these feelings a hundred times and every time they get more and more confusing …I have two guys who love me deeply …one of whom I care forbut I feel is holding me back from a lot of things I want to do in my life though he tries to support them and the other?
I need him in my life … But the only way he wants to be in my life is as my husband …he really has been trying. I am a hard worker, smart, detail oriented and a successful person. This created an enemy for me at work and caused it to be horrible as he is a manipulator and used to effect on peoples opinions about me, until I met him.
We have lots of common, in our core values, but he is married and I took him as a friend. I was happy to be able to be his friend and for 2 years we were, until I got engaged!
My x guy now, was bad news and I end up ending it, after 11 months. I was emotionally hurt, broken, exhausted and it was horrible. On top of that, my friend, took a step back and was away. I was deeply hurt by his distance but I thought he is giving me a space. I honestly had a thing for him since ever, but I never look at married men! It is a no situation. Now after broken my engagement slowly my friend came back and I welcomed him. He then chose to tell me he loves me.
I see it, the process you talk about in ALL. I told him he has a wife and kids, a family he said was always enough and he was accepting life and happy with it. It created a huge problem for me and at times I became weak and told him I had feelings too.
In a way his love, made be heal better, but it also hurt me a lot. We were platonic, not even flirting but the comfort and level of connection we had, made me feel bad. I told him we have to face it, this is NOT good. He also was regretting telling me big times. We have a great friendship and we can be blunt, totally honest and still love each other.
I do want to help him and I am actually glad I can see it, heal my wounds and say finally he is not the man of my life and though I love him a lot, though I would take him if he was single, he is not and I am not going there.
We are still friends, good ones but how I will know he is not still doing it wrong? I am a positive person and I love caring and giving, naturally. I know he can have it all! Can you help? I should say at times I believed he is my other half, we are different but totally the same.
He still says I complete him and we have this huge level of understanding. It is like we have the same core, in two personality and when we were friends I used to joke, we must be twins! And with him I have no fears, and feel totally safe. I never had that before but I also accept now it is not limited to him. I wonder also if I should stop being friends with him?
If it is harmful for me? I would hate that but I am OK to do it if it is needed. I want to do the best for me and him. Thank you. I got married to a woman without 2 weeks after we agreed to date while inlove with some else its now 4yrs in marriage and i am still inlove with the other person. Our marriage has been on the rocks eversince we got married, thought by now things would be okay but tgey are not.
I no longer know what to do cause even when we being intimate i see the other woman. I was in a relationship for 2 years with a sweet person but we were having problems. The 33 year old stepped in and showed me a moment of happiness. However that was a big mistake! I was sold a dream and a fantasy. I am having more problems than ever before. But I caused so much hurt and pain. We were suppose to be getting married this year. But I was so broken and so weak. I been married 26 years.
We both married young. I was 22 he was On our wedding night we fought. Since my Dad was not around growing up. I think my husband was a father figure…many years later I meet a guy we just text for years. Then I fell for him.
Just were friends or was it more. My marriage to my husband is fighting all the time. I think we grew apart overtime. He had been both verbally and emotionally abusive for pretty much the whole time with some nice days here and there. I begged cried and pleaded for him to please stop being mean, ignoring me, disrespecting me, walking on me, hurting me in every way imaginable except physically.
A year ago I started talking to a man online and while at first we were friends, about six months ago, we realized we were falling for each other. Please, any advice helps. Help me please I am so confused. Please give me some advixe. Hi my name is Samantha I am 20 yeara old my husband and I were married for almost a year been together for 3 years but he was deported back to Mexico and is not able to come back legalized, me and my husband been threw thick and thin together, im his first serious relationship and his first love and he is my guy i would do anything for that i love to death, we had a still born, we have been threw hell to be with eachother but its jus at the point were i cant.
Help i love my husband but he wont change i told him millions of times about what i want…. I love touching, feeling, caressing, hugging and kissing.
My wife just lays there like a corpse and will not have oral sex either. My heart aches for love. I want to be her right now. I want our bodies to be one.
I been married 8 years from now…but after he bring me here at usa. Been married to my husband for 14 years with 2 preteens. We carry a lot of pain from our past. From the hurtful things we did to eat other as teenagers. Seems our past will alway haunt us. It always comes up in arguments. My husband is a great father and provider. Just really bad about verbally respecting me and the pain a carry from him stepping out of our marriage is everlasting.
Because financial reasons we lived under the same roof but was separated. I started to emotionally move on. Started going out with the ladies and enjoying myself. Someone I was madly in love with in the past. I wanted a family more than anything. He was single. Just out of a relationship as well. So we exchange numbers that night. Short story, became friends again.
But when the man with whom you're involved is part of another couple, someone else's husband, then the challenge and unpredictability can. Experience: I'm married but I sleep with other men I saw an advert in a newspaper for a dating website for married people, I was intrigued. Sixteen years into my marriage, I fell for another man. For months, I was in crisis, splintering from a heart that shattered in slow motion. I barely.
Was helping each other thru our break ups and feels started back right where they left off. We got together one night and it was a night full of passion. We have the best relationship. Talkrespectromance and it feels like we truly know each other. He pledes me back. And I thought I would leave this passionate guy who took my heart alone.
So I told my husband I broke it off with him. And kept doing what I do with the other guy on the side. In the back of my mind I thought my husband was just going to fail. Something needs to change and I really need o make a decision on what I want. Guy number 2 is wanting more from me now. I do truly care for both men. So confused!! Can you please help me. Can you email me at gengarcit gmail. I want to talk to you. Can you email me at gengarciat gmail. I married my husband six years ago.
I did not love him at the time of marriage, but decided to get married because 1 in the ten years preceding my marriage, my parents had become increasingly derisive about my age and the need to settle down, and 2 my husband was the first man I slept with. The Sunday-school girl in me felt tremendous guilt and thought marriage would appease the guilt.
How to Date a Married Woman
My husband is a good person. I respect his strong sense of honor and responsibility. He also has deep insecurities. He will not undertake any potentially confrontational tasks such as car purchasing, mortgage discussions, utility connections, tax filings, or anything that involves third parties.
His insecurities may also contribute to performance anxiety, but we have a sexless marriage, no kids, and he believes mid-thirties are too old to have kids now. I care about him a good deal and want to love him. I feel like I spend considerable time and money arranging activities which he invariably finds fault with.
About three years ago, I realized how vulnerable my marriage was when my male colleague called about a work issue and we ended talking late into the night. I could joke and debate with my colleague without worrying about hurting his feelings and it was a relief to not feel emotionally drained after a conversation.
I enjoyed the conversation so much that I continued to have long phone discussions for three months before my guilt became such that I changed jobs and asked my husband to attend marital counseling with me. He refused because of the expense and his strong belief that counselors are no-value-add-money pits.
A year ago, I met another man. Again, it was a relief to talk to someone and not feel emotionally drained. Again I struggled with a considerable degree of self-loathing for months. Nevertheless, I continue to consider divorce because of the hopeless sadness I feel when I contemplate walking through the remainder of my life with my husband and without even the consolation of children. I met someone during my temporary work assignment.
I came back to my country and he stays in that country where we met. Me and my husband already have issues before i met him. Now, its making me more confuse. My husband is a good man. But i dont think i love him anymore. I also have 1 kid. I need your advise. I apologize for a long story but I feel I must tell it because I need help and have nowhere to go.
I grew up in a very sheltered household as an only-child and went to an all-boys school up until college. I never interacted with girls at all until college. I joined a church and became very involved with it, and met a woman 5 years my senior and we dated for a little over a year and a half, at which point I discovered her visa would expire within a few months she was an immigrant.
Being inexperienced and afraid of the pain of a break up I decided we should get married, and for some crazy reason both of our parents gave us approval. We were both students and during the entire four years we were essentially living off of student loan leftovers and support from parents.
About two years into the marriage, I started to feel like maybe this was a stupid decision. I think we both just latched on to whoever came our way. In addition to that, we have lots of issues. Her family and friends drive me insane. They always have. When I try to discuss an issue I either get hostility and she explodes with the issues she has with me but for some reason never tried communicating, or she plays a pouting guilt trip and then giggles like a little kid when I take back what I said.
On occasion she will recognize the issue and say she will work on it, but then never does or temporarily fixes it and relapses a short time later. I made a list of goods and bads in our relationship, and aside from her being kind and supportive, the list of bads is exponentially longer and a constant source of stress and irritation for me. Now we live separately due to work, and I feel our futures are going separate ways. My degree, qualifications, and language skill limit me to working overseas.
I am unqualified to work in the US, and even if I were I refuse to because life is much better for me here healthcare, etc. My wife had planned on getting a degree and acquiring the language skill to work here with me, but that fell through and she cannot work here, and I will not be able to support her on one salary. My future is here overseas, and her future is back home with her family store.
So here I am, wondering why I got married before getting my life together, perfectly content being alone here in a foreign country. And then I randomly met one girl and dropped my guard slightly nothing physicaland within a couple of hours I felt like I had known this person my entire life. As if I had met her at some point in the past. Even though I already have so many times. My life has been one that has been controlled by fear and loneliness.
I have always felt unloved and unwanted and fear of being alone has lead me into many relationships.
Trouble is this amazing new man already has a woman at home. That's right; you' re dating a married man. Every couple of days I get an email from another. The reality of dating a married man. By Faeza. 14 June This is for all the women searching. It's for the woman looking for answers to a. Marriage is a big investment, in many dimensions, and there are specific expectations in the process. Dating outside is a violation of a specific.
I crave being talked to. I crave the intimacy of conversation and time spent together. When I first dated my wife all the red flags were flying in my mind. She is extremely introverted and damaged psychologically. I was extremely lonely in the dating period but married her because we had become sexually active and I was fearful no one would ever come to really love me for who I am.
We separated our seven year of marriage because my loneliness within the marriage lead me to seeking relationship out of the home. After seven years apart and two short term relationships and her in four relationships I turned to religion and once more married my first wife. We have been together now 13 years and once again I am suffering mightily from loneliness.
I have come to the point of almost hating her for leaving me so lonely. I want out of our marriage even if that means I never ever love again. I made a terrible mistake by choosing a woman who cannot physically make herself talk to me. What pains me in this is there will once again be fear on my part. Fear of loneliness and fear of spending the rest of my life alone.
I have been suicidal for at least three years maybe up to six years because of loneliness. Staying with her will only strengthen my resolve to commit suicide. Leaving her a second time hurts like hell because it destroys me and rips my heart apart to hurt anyone. I can get you since I have always felt lonely in my marriage too.
I found out it was the original family wounding that caused these feelings. Now I stated loving myself more and doing lots of things, connecting with collegues, friends… My male bff got cancer and passed away, so I was really left totally desparate since he was a conversation partner in all matters. Which my husband refuses to be. He does not want to share his inner feelings. I have been married for 3 years, but in the relationship for 11 and living together for 7. No kids.
We met very young and moved in together when we were It started as just some fun, but the more we talked the more I fell for him. We have so much in common and share so many interests that my husband has no interest in.
I have fallen completely in love with him. The other guy has waited on me, but has recently gotten into a relationship with a girl. But nothing has really changed with us except I do not near from him all the time now.
He has no idea that I do actually love him. I have one child not sure what to do. Since then every year I travel to where my boyfriend lives for month to spend time with him.
My boyfriend is not an easy person, sometimes we argue together, but we have a great sexhe has been waiting for 5 years that I get my divorce to marry me, but I feel so guilty to leave my husband.
My husband is a really good man and he loves me a lot, but I have no sexual attraction toward him, and we have sex together every 1 or2 weeks. My husband is very passive, type B personality and my boyfriend is very active type A personality.
Iv been married for almost 4 years, recently we seperated for 6 months and I met someone else who I feel is a better fit for my life. She has a great personality and very attractive, but I do still love my wife so I told her to come back home along with our 1 year old daughter. I tried leaving the other woman but something always keeps bringing me back to her.
My mind tells me to stay with my family and work on our marriage but my heart tells me to leave and go with the other woman and live happily ever after. Only after reading so many things online statistics say it might not work out with the new woman. We were just almost 5 months in our relationship when i got pregnant. My husband then, agreed but, he had asked me ways to deceived my family. He even asked if we could fake it. But the only normal thing we did as a couple was having sex. We never connected emotionally.
We lived with my parents. For the past three years, he was a student for a year and a half and was never with me and our kid more than a month straight. After that, he leave us for an ojt for a year. Im certain, he missed the growing up of our child.
Now, our son is three years old and during those short times my husband had a strong bond with our child. Likewise with the kid who always asks for his father. And it seems, my husband forgot everything from the past and treated me good. But i am more on off. I was always confused with him.
I even remembered my ex and thought i was still inlove with him. I cried for my ex even i already have a husband. Now, Im talking to a guy online for a month now. And i developed a certain degree of attraction to him.
But im not certain if the feeling is mutual. However, he said he likes me though im difficult. Im excited about the idea. I always thought about this new man. I even began writing to my diary again because i was alarmed that i felt so vulnerable with this stranger.
Now, I know what we have or will have is a different concern and not the most important thing here. My confusion is about me and my husband. I really wanted to be free but i do not know how to start saying it to him. And my son, i dont want him to get hurt and drag to this hurtful situation.Dating a Married Man - The Truth Exposed
He loves his father so much. But i cant feel anything with my husband now. No connection at all. I will start with me. I think I have a problem with relationships in general because I get this emotional affairs nothing physical even in my previous relationships… So the story with my husband. Everything happened very quickly I fell in love and everything was perfecthowever after one and half year of marriage something went wrong and we became very cold with each other its like we didnt care for each other and then he cheated on me.
We split up for a while, then we decided to try and fix our relationship. We did it for a while 2 years and now Evrrything is repeating i found someone that I really like, he is smart and we click together perfectly however.
How do I fix this? Is marriage all about fixing things all life. But nothing seems right anymore. Hi, my name is Ryan and I have been with my wife for 12 years now. I have been with her since I was 15 and we just got married a few months ago. In the 12 year I have never cheated on her or even thought about it. Our relationship is good but there is a problem. Back when I was in high school I had fallen for a girl in my class. We would talk on off and on but had no physical contact.
We lost contact for a few years and in that time she had a kid and was in an unhappy relationship. We started talking again a few years ago still no physical contact and my wife then girlfriend found out. After she found out I stop talking to the girl and moved on. Well she is back and I have been talking to her again dally and I have been meeting with her here and there still not sexual contact but I can see it going that way. Due to this I have been shutting out my wife who is causing her to be more suspicious and causing us to fight a lot more.
There is no perfect relationship…every marriage has its own unique set of obstacles. Many people leave their husbands or their wives because stronger feelings pull them to another relationship…but when they get to that other relationship, the majority of the time it ends very badly. We have some great tools and programs on our website for situations just like yours. I have been with my wife for 17 years, and married for We have a four year old son together.
She is an alcoholic, pill popper, and suffers from depression. Her family sucks, and has always made her and our life very hard.
She probably would have moved on to someone new even if you had. I am sorry if that seems harsh, but we have seen it time and time again. It may seem cliche at this point, but it is not too late to make your marriage stronger and healthier and start treating each other with respect. I am married for 23 years now, with a loving wife and 2 children. It was love at first site. I used to wait for her every day, follow her upto to her college and back. She is to take a bus and go to her village 20km away.
Sometimes I used to follow her upto her house on my mobike. I am from India. I was totally shattered and heart broken and felt, I can never get married in my life. The time was too short, probably 2 odd months, after I saw her. Some consolation was, she was to be married in a good family, so I felt happy for her. It was a hopeless situation for me caste wise, no job, no social standing, Indian social conditions, etc etc.
But she stayed in my heart and she will, till I die. Now inafter 24 years or so, my friend called and put her on the phone. He is from her same village and married her friend 2nd marriage. I always used to think, I should somehow see her atleast once before I die and tell her, I truly loved her.
But this phone call has given such happiness to me, I could not believe it. From that time, we kept in touch over the phone.
Twice we have met, only to talk. She had a bad marriage, with 2 children. Her husband kind of sadist lives away. The connection is, only their property. We talk mostly about our children and my wife also. She suffers from kidney stones, some health problems…she falls ill and accident prone too. I keep sending her money whenever she says, she is ill.
Whatever, it is not possible for me to take her out of my heart, as I truly love her. I never felt that feeling with anyone and never will…I still vividly remember the place I saw her for the first time and all the places I saw her, spoke to her and everything…Whatever she says, is very important to me and I simply cannot forget. I told my mother at that time when I fell in love with her and now, after I met her again. I made her to speak to my mother also… I am in different country now.
I feel very guilty and painful. My wife loves me and cares for me a lot and she is emotionally attached to me. I take good care of her too and seeing her happy is my top priority. After stumbling upon these blogs, thought I would write also. I really wonder if somebody is in the same strange situation and fighting like me…. Pavan, many people are in your situation. You are not alone. These articles are culminated from years and years of experiences with thousands of people.
And we have seen the outcome of these situations. For those that stay with their wife, they can make their marriage better than it was before. For those who leave with their lover, we have never seen that relationship make it. Things seemed so great. We dated only a few months before we ended up pregnant. We were arguing a lot so he felt that was the best solution.
At this point I had already started dating someone my current fiance and at this point my passion for this new man was strong as expected in every new relationship. Also this new man has been there for me, my rock, my shoulder to cry on.
So I gave the ultimatum. At this point he gave me a ring but his lack of proposal has always bothered me as I know the only reason he gave it to me was to pacify me a Hail Mary if you will.
My son and I now live in his house. The father of my child and I have gone through a really vicious custody battle, fights, and now are friends again. It took some time to get there and I lot of talking and forgiveness on both of our parts. I wonder if we would have worked it out and we would be the happy family I wanted. When I see my son and his father together, I am just in love. He always promises to get better but never does.
He loves me unconditionally. He was there for me when I had no one else. These and so many other reasons are why I wanted to marry him and pushed so hard to get him to propose. Actually, it makes me downright angry. I feel less attracted to him and we have almost no sex because of all of this.
He always promises to change and to do better but never follows though not for more than a day or two anyway. That he wishes that he had done things differently and that he wonders what would have happened if we had tried to work things out. He said that it bothers him that I moved on before we got the chance to find out.
What I need to know is do I try to work on the issues in my current engagement and strengthen it and build it into a good marriage? I am a very emotionally aware person and I am also very open about my emotions. Nicky, there seems to be a lot going on. You can reach him at His name is Johnny, and he would love to speak with your more about what we can offer for you.
I always wanted to get married but he was never ready for marriage until after I made physical changes to my body. I fell in love with someone else during one of our many break ups. Even though I married him I never let go of this other person and soon after I married my husband I started having an affair with this other man.
I do love my husband but now I feel like I jumped on getting married when he finally wanted to! I believe he finally wanted to marry me cause he knew I would soon be snatched by someone else with my new confidence in myself. I feel like I made a huge mistake! Is it worth considering counseling? Yes, you should definitely consider counseling and receive further help. There are many issues going on, and I would suggest that you understand what is going on with you and with your relationship before making any large decisions.
Six months before I took decision to marry a girl of my parents choice because I could not tell my feeling to a girl whom I liked. I wanted to move on. My marriage was fixed with the girl which my parents chose, but I wanted to delay may marriage for about six months so that we me and the girl chosen for me know each other better before getting married.
But her parents wanted the marriage to happen as soon as possible. I talked to this girl and explained my concern and what I feel. I told her that we should spend some time together before getting married. She agreed at that time but she changed her mind after one day. She and her parents wanted to marry their daughter as soon as possible. But I insisted them that we must first know each other before getting married but in vain. They also pressurized my parents for early marriage through my grand parents.
During this time me and the girl whom i wanted to marry became close. Please Help. I need help badly. She has been with her bf since she was 13 years old she is now James, what you are describing are definitely signs of limerence. I suggest that you look at some of the articles on the website about limerence.
We only knew each other for about 6 months before we got married. I look forward to going to work so I can spend time without him. And that just leaves me and him, alone, in a somewhat dark building. At first I thought it was sweet and i felt safe with him there but then we started flirting and now all I can think about is being with him. And at the end of the night I hate to leave him. But my husband is no longer the guy I think about when I go to bed or the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning.
This other guy makes me so nervous, in a good way. I just wish this feeling would go away. They seem to only get stronger.
Please, can you give me some kind of advice as to what to do? Like I said, I love my husband but did we get married too quickly? I highly advise that you listen to this podcast and read this other article. It will give you a deeper understanding of what is going on. Also, we can help you. We can help you see what is going on and how to feel that way about your husband again.
Our Marriage Helper representative, Johnny, would be happy to talk through this with you. His direct number is I met someone 4 years now.