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Dating Someone with Complex PTSD: Healing and Growing With Your Partner – Bridges to Recovery

CPTSD and Intimacy: What Happens When We Rush In

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. Hi there, My name is Raman and I recently joined bluevoices and this will be my first thread on something I recently endured and learnt. I'm 32 years of age, a former sufferer of depression for around 12 years and was recently in a relationship with an amazing woman who suffered major anxiety and PTSD. Her past was not a pretty one, at all. However she as a bright as the sun and covered up her scars well. Over the 3 months we were together I can say that this was by far the most challenging relationship I had ever been in. It the early stages I always thought 'she doesn't like me' or 'what did I do to make her upset?

His flashbacks and dreams of the past drove him to be hypervigilant, fear strangers, and fend off sleep to avoid nightmares. Being the partner of someone who has PTSD can be challenging — and frustrating — for many reasons. I spent years trying to understand how PTSD affected my partner, and, ultimately, had to walk away from our relationship. PTSD is a debilitating anxiety disorder that occurs after a traumatic event, like war combat.

Symptoms arise anywhere from three months to years after the triggering event.

In order to be characterized as PTSD, the person must exhibit these traits:. It was a reminder that bad things happened, and that that feeling might never stop. Loud noises made it worse, like thunder, fireworks, or truck backfire. For us, these symptoms made basic relationship things difficult, like going out to dinner to a place that was new to him. And then there was the skittishness and aggression, which are common for people with PTSD.

He was the softest, most complimentary man 90 percent of the time. But when he felt wounded or scared, his cruel side became consuming.

6 Things I Learned from Dating Someone with PTSD

He knew my buttons to press — my insecurities and weaknesses — and he had no shame using them as a weapon when he felt angry.

Not only is he strikingly handsome, he is smart, caring, and compassionate. Over time, these negative thoughts become generalized so that negativity permeates all aspects of life. They can also carry over into a relationship.

This deep insecurity shaped how I treated him, with more reassurances without prompting. But I obliged him. I walked out of the room on friends and stayed on the phone with him for hours. I picked him over everyone in my life. But it soon became apparent that the challenges of our childhood were about to be outdone.

Here are some things to think about when it comes to getting into a relationship with someone with depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD or similar mental health. Dec 6, - Dating is hard. It's hard enough to find someone that you can connect with, have similar interests, ideals, and values with, and someone you're. Apr 26, - Dating someone with complex PTSD is no easy task. But by understanding why the difference between traditional and complex PTSD matters.

I started to grasp that certain topics were just off limits, and that hurt a lot. These things jolted me awake. All of a sudden, everything I had learned about leaning on your partner seemed to be wrong. Sneaking up behind him to give him a hug or even just take his hand was a huge no-no.

To get through that year of dating and keep our relationship intact, I had to learn a lot of lessons. For a long time, I held on to unfair expectations that had been set by seeing tropes play out a million times in movies: A single person is hurting. They find the perfect partner who takes their hurt away.

The prince finds the owner of the glass slipper, and his life is complete. Happily ever after, the end. I let my fairy-tale expectations cause hurt and misunderstanding.

Dating Someone with PTSD: What You Can Do. Relationship. 45 Most of the time, they experience anger, irritability, sleepless nights, depression and anxiety. Aug 21, - Being the partner of someone who has PTSD can be challenging. Like depression or other mental and behavioral issues, it's not something. Sep 13, - How Dating Someone with PTSD Changed My Perspective. In those early days of dating, we didn’t sit down and have a formal conversation about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). What helped me when dating someone with PTSD.

I kept waiting for Wayne to emotionally open up about the trauma he had lived through. I held tight to assumptions that after just a little more time together, the nightmares would go away.

Because PTSD is associated with specific trauma or traumatic events, it was easy for me to fall into the trap of believing that the further removed from the trauma Wayne got, the more the condition would fade. After all, this has been my experience in light of painful events. But it does give us the opportunity to grow and change the way we cope — this goes for the person with PTSD as well as their partner. Now, I know that there are times when I just need to let Wayne deal however he needs to.

Jan 1, - PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder is a condition that affects millions Dating with PTSD is hard, as you need to find someone who You are a survivor, even if you have troubles sleeping, you suffer from depression and. Apr 13, - I'm 32 years of age, a former sufferer of depression for around 12 years and When you meet and start dating someone you like, the natural. Jun 15, - A woman with PTSD shares what it's like to date with PTSD.

When I see distress rising in his face, I can reach for his hand, but I remind myself not to feel offended if he stays silent. That first time we heard fireworks while inside a souvenir shop, our carefree time quickly turned anxious. Once we were outside and able to see the source of the noise, we could enjoy the display together.

With Wayne, no amount of comforting conversation was going to replace the comforting sight of a harmless fireworks display. But everyone with PTSD is different.

While this means communicating with each other, it can often include talking to someone else as well. Patience was most certainly key, in fact, a new kind of patience altogether. Thanks for the kind comments and I hope you are well and definitely sound like a great person and strong one at that :. Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

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RandR Champion Alumni. Regards, Raman. Hi Raman A remarkable informative post. Thankyou Tony WK. Thank you Tony. Thanks for taking the time to read it and for the kind comments. What an inspirational thread!

What It's Really Like Dating Someone With Anxiety And Depression

Thanks for the kind words Paul. Much appreciated.

Croix Community Champion. She also had work, housework, looking after our child and more There's only a couple of things I'd like to add, if I may. Thank you for your post. Thanks for sharing your story and I'm glad to hear things got better over time.

Thank you for your response Croix. Hi Paul, Thanks for your response and I'm so glad to hear you had a support network. Hi T, Means a lot for you to comment and hear from someone who endured what she did.

Dating someone with depression and ptsd

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